tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50862009713618920932024-03-13T11:10:13.489-04:00BREATHE DEEPLYAN OFFICIAL BLOG OF RALLY POINT MINISTRIESMelissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-79913904968150322032016-01-31T02:45:00.003-05:002016-11-22T10:07:55.244-05:0031 Days, 500 Words<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://goinswriter.com/my500words/" nbsp="" target="_blank"><img src="http://goinswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/500wordssq-150x150.jpg" /></a><br />
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31 Days, 500 Words may not seem like much of an opener. But
for me, it’s the opening of 15,500 words yet to be told…aching to be
told…needing to be told.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So many days and nights I’ve longed for this moment, dreamed
even. The moment to begin again. I’ve asked many times of God, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when can I write</i>? Most times the reply
was, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I never said you couldn’t. </i>Or
something like it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It doesn’t matter if these words form a book, if they flow
from one stream into another, or whether they connect one day of writing to
another. It just matters that they are. That they simply are written.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Just today God said to me, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it’s the discipline that’s needed.</i> I prefer inspiration, to the
point I avoid discipline. Yet the two can work together if I will allow the habit
of writing daily to give room to the inspiration that is never far away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But why did I ever stop in the first place? It wasn’t a
conscious decision. I got stumped one night, unsure of my thoughts, untrusting
of God’s leading. The subject matter that gripped my heart didn’t fit into the
chronological story I had been telling. It fit in the story alright; it was
painful and raw, it was the present, it was the “now.” I traded the keyboard
and vulnerability of the moment for a hesitancy and a bed. I said goodnight on
the story. Not ever dreaming so many months and years would pass before waking.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There’s no guilt here. Only grace. Grace deep and wide
enough to get back up, to risk again. You see, a great fall caused a great
hurt, and a lot of confusion. A piece of my heart was lost, broken off. Without
it, I couldn’t find my voice, and all the words I could think of turned to
chaos in my mind. I was told that wasn’t a bad thing, but over time I scarcely
believed. Like most perfectionists, I placed too much pressure and heaped
condemnation on myself. As if that ever helps.<o:p></o:p></div>
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That broken piece of my heart was found on a high ropes
course 40 feet above the ground in the Colorado Rockies. I was attending a retreat centered around the healing of the heart, and the night before had been raw and hard as I wrestled out many previously avoided questions that had been suppressed during the few years of back to back tragedy and sufferings. God knows what his
girl needs. I geared up, followed the bridge to the towering course surrounded
by peaks of glory all around without so much as a worry or fear. I was excited
for the fun of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Nodding at the instructions of the guide, I took off on part
1 of the course. Mind you, in my exuberance I had chosen the more difficult
option. Yes, it was naïve. Once I felt the whole weight of it, too far forward
on a shaky rope as thin as my pinky, fear gripped me. I held on for dear life,
each step and reach of the hands a desperate plea not to fall. No way did I
dare to choose the difficult option on either of the next 2 stages. After all I
had just experienced, what crazy person would do such a thing?!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I played it safe. Stayed in control. As in control as a
person could possibly be 40 feet up on a wire with planks too far apart and
swinging boards from Hades. Life is like that sometimes. Hades. It sure does
burn and makes a girl want to tuck her tail and hide.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But something happened high on the platform of the last
portion of the course. I debated with the guide whether to take the easiest way
or the really hard. As he unhooked my cable and safely clipped it to the easy, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wait! </i>was the shout that rose up from
somewhere deep down inside me. “Put me on the hard. If I’m going to do this, I’ve got to go all the way. I can't take the easy way out.” I could barely believe what I was saying, but I knew it was truth.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Taking every instruction given me, I stepped out onto a new
hope, a deeper belief. It was hard. It was deliberate. One step and one yank of
the cable at a time—the anchor above me. It was long. Yet even as the last
guide, who was also the first to send me out, reached out his helping hand, I knew
I had to decline. “No, I’ve got it. I’ve got to this.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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When the ending had come full circle to the beginning, a firm
platform signaling the start and end of something greater and more real than
even I had anticipated, I just needed to have a good cry. Not because I was
weak, but because I had found strength again. I heard my Heavenly Daddy say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m so proud of you! You were made for this.
You were made to risk again.</i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i>
The rescued piece of my heart was brought back into the whole. To have been wounded and to get back up again is everything.</div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;">So here I am back at the beginning. It’s time to
write again, however many days and keystrokes it takes. In the words of Bagger
in <u>The Legend of Bagger Vance</u>, “Settle yourself…let’s go. Now is the
time.”</span><!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: small;">(This is My 500 Words challenge, Day 1, found on www.Goinswriter.com/500-words. It is my first </span><span style="font-family: "cambria";">published</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: small;"> writing in nearly 4 years. My last 2 blog posts <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2012/03/launch-forward.html" target="_blank">HERE</a> and <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2012/03/launch-forward-background-story.html" target="_blank">HERE</a> give a snippet of the backstory that brought me to a season of hiding out in fear and other places. This post is also out of my comfort zone, because it's unedited...that's one of the rules for the 31 days. haha Ok, maybe I cheated just a little, I only added one word. Here's to writing!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: small;"><a href="http://goinswriter.com/my500words/" nbsp="" target="_blank"><img src="http://goinswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/500wordssq-150x150.jpg" /></a></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-55452637772398111652012-03-28T00:38:00.000-04:002012-11-15T01:59:03.941-05:00Launch Forward: the Background Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="color: #0b5394;">
<b>The </b><b><span style="font-size: large;">b</span>ackground to every story matters...</b></div>
<div style="color: #0b5394;">
<b>The <span style="font-size: x-large;">r</span></b><b>oad from yesterday directly connects our tomorrows.</b></div>
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For most of you, this picture I took of the majestic mountains of Colorado will be "pretty", "nice", maybe even stunning. But for me, it is a deep well of emotions as vivid memories--real as the keys I type upon--of the days spent there just before the accident flood my soul. Yes, these are memories etched deep into the fibers of my heart, not just my mind.<br />
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Tears caught me by surprise as I sat here staring at this scene earlier. Lots of them. Trying to find words that would accurately pen my heart and the heart of God's as they intertwined and danced upon the Colorado Rockies, unaware that days later a thief would cut in and attempt to steal me away. In this scene you can see it, as I stood safely atop one mountain peak, drinking in the beauty with each deep inhale of the soul. The distance warns of an encroaching storm with shadows engulfing mountains one at a time, and storm clouds swallowing blue skies. Jesus held me so close, I didn't even notice the hovering cloud in the upper corner about to cover me.<br />
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Let me explain.<br />
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I had the amazing experience of attending the Captivating Advanced retreat with John and Stasi Eldredge and their team of Ransomed Heart Ministries September 29th through October 2nd of last year (2011). It was during a previous Captivating retreat several years earlier that God confirmed he wanted me to minister in the same message (if you've been following the blog for a long time, you've probably read some of my story and previous experiences there.) Such deep healing and life-giving words from Jesus paved the way from that first trip in 2006 to this past Fall of 2011. My husband, Andy, and I had begun writing and speaking in 2010, and though I had felt more alive than ever before, we had suffered some blows in those first two years. I was desperately thirsty for deeper personal healing, as well as fresh affirmation and equipping for the ministry he'd given us.<br />
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My thirst was truly quenched, as Jesus did not disappoint!! I will share various specifics along the way in future posts as they relate. Little could I have known at the time, though, just how much his words to me, the beauty, and the rescue would <i>continue</i> to be so vital to my heart...to rescue me time and time again in the storm that engulfed me on <u><b><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2012/03/launch-forward.html" target="_blank">October 8, 2011</a></b>.</u><br />
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As mentioned in the previous post, so many crucial things happened in the moments before the ambulance arrived to take our precious Abby from the pecan orchard to the capable hands of a children's hospital not too far away. Though my eyes saw horror on her crushed face, when Drew pulled up
beside us on the 4-wheeler, I steadied her in his big-brother arms and
did the first thing that came to mind. All I knew to do was lay hands on
her sweet head and pray, pleading for God's healing touch! Had not the experiences in Colorado been so fresh--fresh enough to still smell the aroma upon waking every morning--I don't think I would have had the same knee-jerk reaction.<br />
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Next, I frantically thought through scenarios of how I could attempt to get her to the hospital on my own. None of them would work with her fragile state.<br />
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A neighbor's voice from the last house before the orchard entrance broke my racing thoughts, "Do you need an ambulance?!" She had seen the kids riding and heard the screams from her bedroom window. I ran toward her and stopped mid-way. I couldn't answer clearly. Each word and footstep I stumbled over brought me closer to the reality that Abby needed help beyond what any of us or our local hospital could give her. She read through my lack of an answer and dialed 911.<br />
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Then a safe distance from Abby, who was no longer crying and clearly in shock, yet out of earshot, I called Andy who was at work. He knew we had gone riding, so I dove right in. My calm composure broke down at the sound of his voice, <i>"Hey... Andy, Abby and Ashley had a wreck...it's really bad, Andy...Abby's face is crushed...it's really bad, Andy...it's really, really bad...a neighbor called an ambulance...it's really bad...I already know she's going to have to have surgery, it's so bad!"</i> He immediately said he was on his way, a 30-minute drive that he made in less than 20 minutes! We quickly decided what to do with our other three kids (thankfully they are all teenagers and were able to get the un-wrecked ATV and the rest of our gear home), and hung up with desperate I-love-yous.<br />
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I took liberty of the moment out of earshot of the others. <b><span style="color: #073763;">In tragedy, when suffering sneaks up on you like a thief in the night, our heart is the target and most vulnerable to attack.</span></b> I began to heave out breathless words as my heart beat so hard, <b><i><span style="color: #073763;">"Catch my heart Jesus! Jesus catch my heart!! Catch my heart Jesus!! Jesus catch my heart!!!"</span></i></b><br />
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Looking back, I see clearly how God was paving the road that would follow my return from the Captivating Advanced. The very last session on Sunday was with John, and he spoke on suffering. I had no idea then just how life-giving his words would be. I learned, as I said in the previous post, that the worst part of suffering is not the pain, but the damage it can do to our heart.<br />
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Remember <b><span style="color: #073763;">John 10:10, our enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He hates God and would love nothing more than for us to hate him, too. He rushes into our pain with lies to get us to distrust God's heart.</span></b> When a great suffering hits us out of no where and catches us off guard, we must cry to Jesus in that moment to catch our heart. "Catch my heart Jesus!"<br />
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Doing so while waiting for the ambulance to whisk my daughter away set the stage for God to intersect our world in tangible, unmistakable ways as we navigated through ominous skies of suffering for days, weeks, and months. I am thankful the background of this story's "yesterday" directly connected my heart (and my family's) to Jesus in the tomorrows that still continue to follow. Oh it's been messy, and certainly not easy, but catch us he has!<br />
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The invitation of Jesus is to cry to him when suffering snatches the rug from underneath your feet. His promise is that he will come running when we call. Psalm 18 speaks beautifully of this truth. <i>"In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried to my God for help; he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry for help before him came into his ears...He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters...He rescued me because he delighted in me."</i> (v. 6, 16, 19)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/27YX8bBB_Qs" width="420"></iframe>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-91841198080919578002012-03-09T02:52:00.001-05:002012-11-15T02:10:17.322-05:00Launch Forward<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Setbacks. Thin places. And torn veils.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">All of these have interchangeably described the past five months of my
family’s life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">A</span> setback. (perhaps
the greatest of our young family’s life)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">A setback can be described as a “reversal.” You are moving
forward, when something spins you around and takes you back a few steps before
you can stop it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In the beginning of October, 2011, Andy (my husband) and I
seemed poised to leap ahead in one of the greatest adventures of our
lives—fighting for the hearts of others through <a href="http://www.rallypointministries.org/">Rally Point</a>. We had
direction, confirmation, affirmation. Even preparation. Then the unthinkable
happened.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Saturday, October
8, 2011, ushered in a lazy sun-shiny, crisp fall day. Lavishing in the
final weekend of our Fall Break from school, I decided I better fulfill my
promise to our youngest who had begged all week to go “4-wheeler riding”—a joy I
and my kids grew up with. This would be our last chance before school resumed
on Monday. Elated, the kids threw open the shed doors, gassed up, suited up,
and had the two ATV’s parked out front and ready to go before I made it out the
door!</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MjqD14vda1A/T1mhlSqJgRI/AAAAAAAAALQ/noDb2vIjCEM/s1600/4-wheeler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MjqD14vda1A/T1mhlSqJgRI/AAAAAAAAALQ/noDb2vIjCEM/s320/4-wheeler.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oct. 8, 2011</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9BxLO8-lwys/T1mmoVcKSDI/AAAAAAAAALg/zBEPziQMggQ/s1600/Abby2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9BxLO8-lwys/T1mmoVcKSDI/AAAAAAAAALg/zBEPziQMggQ/s320/Abby2.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Earlier in 2011</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cyOf2GJgtaI/T1mrBz7YEGI/AAAAAAAAALw/YUTn2lTmUOM/s1600/4-wheeler+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cyOf2GJgtaI/T1mrBz7YEGI/AAAAAAAAALw/YUTn2lTmUOM/s320/4-wheeler+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Summer 2010</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;">Overgrowth in the pecan orchard we usually romp and race through
forced us deeper into unfamiliar territory. I rode alone for a bit to scope out
the area. Handing over the larger ATV to my oldest, Drew, and one of our
daughters, I waved the other two girls in on the smaller 4-wheeler and pointed
out the safe perimeters to all of them for riding. When I finished the
exchange with Drew and Emily, I turned around to realize Ashley and Abby were
nowhere in sight. Drew drove off with Emily in search of them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">As they also disappeared into the orchard, I began to
hear screams...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">My heart stopped with my feet. Above the roar of 4-wheelers
in the distance, I couldn’t discern if it was play or serious. The sounds
stopped. I assumed they were playing and resumed walking to find a place where
I could keep watch, thinking to myself, <i>When
they get up here I am going to tell them not to scream like that! It’s scaring
me! And to stay where I can see them!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Sickening screams reached my ears again. Drew bolts back
into eyesight driving full-speed towards me with panic on his face, and I see Emily racing into view
on foot, screaming, <i>“MAMA!!!”</i> over and over in a frantic call no mother wants
to hear. Picking up the pace in their direction, my heart sunk when Abby, just
ten years old, appeared. From far away I could see the bloody mess from head to
toe. Up close, her face didn’t even look normal it was so badly crushed in the
center, severely affecting her nose and eyes and everything behind them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Ashley and Abby had driven into another area of overgrowth
in the unfamiliar territory, which completely concealed a deep, narrow,
V-shaped ravine over six feet deep, slamming them unaware into the lower wall
of it. Abby had taken the brunt of the force to her precious face.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">So many crucial things happened in the early
moments before the ambulance arrived. I’ll share those details in later posts—but
the specifics that unfolded during the wait set the stage for all the thin
places and torn veils that were sure to follow us into the hours, days, weeks,
and months of this setback.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">T</span>hin places.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Author Mary DeMuth writes in her book, <u>Thin Places: A
Memoir</u>, that “the Celtics define a <i>thin
place</i> as a place where heaven and the real world collide, one of those
serendipitous territories where eternity and the mundane meet. Thin describes
the membrane between the two worlds, like a piece of vellum, where we see a
holy glimpse of the eternal—not in digital clarity, but clear enough to discern
what lies beyond.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">She further writes that “thin places are snatches of holy
ground, tucked into the corners of our world, where, if we pay very close
attention, we might just catch a glimpse of eternity…these are snatches of
time, moments really, when we sense God intersecting our world in tangible,
unmistakable ways.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">He has come so near in the midst of unthinkable pain, in
times when all that beat were the shattered pieces of a numb heart. I’ll bear
the “how’s” in future posts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-size: x-large;">T</span>orn veils.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">In 2 Corinthians 3:7-18, Paul imparts to us the difference
of seeing God through a veil verses a face-to-face unveiled encounter. After
receiving the Ten Commandments from God, Moses’ face shone with a glory that
would soon fade, prompting him to cover his face with a veil so that others
wouldn’t see the glow dulling. The problem with veils is that they not only keep
others from a clear view of us, but they also keep us from having clear sight
of God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Only Jesus can tear the veil and set our sights no longer on
the ministry of death and condemnation written on stones, but to see with
unveiled faces the glory of God. Suddenly we recognize that God is a living,
personal presence desiring to come for us in the hardest of places, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when we turn to the God
who is personally present, a living Spirit, we are transformed, “our lives
gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we
become like him.” (v. 18, <i>The Message</i>)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Suffering wickedness in this world can turn our blood cold
and cause us to lose heart (Matt. 24:12). That is when many of us trade our
freedom for a veil. The worst part of suffering is not the pain, but the damage
it can do to our heart, our view of God and our relationship with Jesus. Turning
to the living, personal God in these raw places allows the Son of God to adjust
our view, and fit together the pieces of our broken heart until we are whole
again, shining brighter than before and looking more and more like him. I never
understood how suffering could make us one with Jesus until these recent months
in the wake of the accident.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I invite you to read through the pages of our family’s life
as we sift through the porous membranes of setbacks, thin places, and torn
veils that allow pain and joy to intermix until suffering has produced its
great reward in all of us—and, as James says, through such we are found lacking in nothing
(James 1:2-4).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">For me, I hear the Spirit saying, <i>it’s time to turn a setback into a launch
forward</i>.</span></div>
Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-60434166068942342412011-09-23T08:18:00.003-04:002011-10-04T00:48:50.895-04:00The Innocence of Beauty<div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Little girls...</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sFkgT8VU3_k/Tnsq50iuZMI/AAAAAAAAAIY/UvFolW-iX1k/s1600/little+girl+dancing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sFkgT8VU3_k/Tnsq50iuZMI/AAAAAAAAAIY/UvFolW-iX1k/s320/little+girl+dancing.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sitting here trying to capture the perfect thought, I just let out a deep sigh. All sorts of images are vacillating around in my mind. Bouncy, swingy, swaying little figures, skipping down a sidewalk with a sweet little song. Pictures of frilly dress up clothes, pink tutus, and plastic strings of pearls--tiny little feet in high heel shoes. In their innocence I see them.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In her best dress, eyes wide and searching, she looks up, "Don't you like it Daddy?"</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A7sCTROSekE/TnsytTXkzfI/AAAAAAAAAIg/Kh6BzZkEe30/s1600/20100427_cute-little-girl-istock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A7sCTROSekE/TnsytTXkzfI/AAAAAAAAAIg/Kh6BzZkEe30/s200/20100427_cute-little-girl-istock.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Or after the debut of her latest imaginative creation, be it a song, a drawing, or her best made-up dance, she simply wants to know... <i>Do you see me? Do you delight in me? </i><i>Do you think I'm beautiful?</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">No matter how it manifests itself, every little girl bears this question in the depth of her soul. No one has to teach it to her. She doesn't conjure it up. It is just there. Given to her by the One who created her in his very own image.<i> </i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; <u>male and female he created them</u>."</i> (Genesis 1:27, underlining mine)<b> </b></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>One of the ways we bear God's image as a woman is in our desire to be beautiful, seen, and enjoyed.</b></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Isaiah 6:3 tells us the whole earth is filled with God's glory. One evening last week I was driving westward with a couple of my kids as the sun was setting. Breaking through the trees we saw it, perhaps the largest, brightest hot pink sun we have ever seen. We couldn't take our eyes off of it! This summer we stood in awe at the shades of turquoise and deep blues saturating the ocean waters of south Florida. They were mesmerizing! From the delicate vulnerability of a flower, to the snow capped mountains in the Rockies, creation is bursting with the glory of God! And it is beautiful.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In Revelation chapter four, John describes what he saw in a vision as the Spirit led him. <i>"The One who sat on the throne looked like precious stones, like jasper and carnelian. All around the throne was a rainbow the color of an emerald...Also before the throne there was something that looked like a sea of glass, clear like crystal."</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">David asks only one thing from the Lord in Psalm 27:4, <i>"that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple."</i><b> </b></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>God <i>is</i> beauty and to say he lavishes it upon us would be an understatement!</b> He wants to be seen, and enjoyed. He longs to captivate our attention. (Jeremiah 29:13) Likewise, so does every little girl...and woman. She speaks something different to the world than a man, through her beauty (Eldredge in <i>Captivating</i>).</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/09/beauty-why-is-it-ugly-word.html">I've said before that a woman often despises the demand for beauty.</a> Mostly because it has been mishandled, assaulted and abused, tossed aside, and trampled over. Our world has scared it into hiding with its insatiable appetite and gross advertisement for the physical. On the contrary, <i>the church has often diminished it.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">A woman is beautiful both in form and in soul/spirit. It is recorded in Genesis 1:31 that the Lord God looked at his creation when he was finished and, seeing <i><b>all</b></i> that he had made, said, "it was very good." Peter also writes, <i>"Do not let your adornment be </i>merely<i> outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on </i><i>fine apparel, rather </i><i>let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible </i>beauty<i> of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." </i>(1 Peter 3:3-4)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Though our dress up days and happy skipping are long past, we must recover the alluring innocence of beauty. Every woman needs to know that she does, indeed, possess a beauty all her own to unveil. And that it is wanted. </span></div>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-43241980521761380772011-09-15T13:10:00.002-04:002011-10-05T23:56:44.024-04:00Beauty: The Invitation<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Continued From Previous Post...</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">"</span><span style="font-size: small;">The only things standing in the way of our beauty are our doubts and fears, and the hiding and striving we fall to as a result." (<i>Captivating</i>)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-we6MpXki6lE/TnGKeFPOThI/AAAAAAAAAIM/75sVY0eTYi0/s1600/Toula-My+Big+Fat+Greek+Wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-we6MpXki6lE/TnGKeFPOThI/AAAAAAAAAIM/75sVY0eTYi0/s200/Toula-My+Big+Fat+Greek+Wedding.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The woman in hiding:</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Remember Toula in the movie, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? In the beginning she wore frumpy, baggy, drab-colored clothing that hid any semblance of her figure as a woman. Her hair was just as mousy and her dark eyes downcast behind large framed glasses. Toula worked in her father's Greek restaurant. Though she secretly dreamed of greater things, her father didn't approve. So she remained hardly noticed by those around her, and faded into the background of mere hopeless daily existence.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MOIMW6s4Vbo/TnGLWE_xI0I/AAAAAAAAAIQ/joL3Vp78NX4/s1600/Margaret-The+Proposal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MOIMW6s4Vbo/TnGLWE_xI0I/AAAAAAAAAIQ/joL3Vp78NX4/s1600/Margaret-The+Proposal.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The striving woman:</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Margaret is a high-powered book editor in the hit movie, "The Proposal". Her extra slender frame boasts of her need to exercise religiously, and she works around the clock, even over weekends and while pounding the treadmill. Before she arrives at the office each day, it is teeming with laughter and conversation scattered all across the room. Upon her entrance, </span><span style="font-size: small;">one man types the warning on the computer screen to everyone, "the witch is on her broom," and </span><span style="font-size: small;">the happy chatter abruptly ceases as workers rush quietly, and hopefully unnoticed, to their respective cubicles. There is no time for play around her; hunker down and get busy. Sure, Margaret's appearance and success are nearly perfect, but they feel forced and contingent upon factors from the outside. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">These examples of the hiding and striving woman may be a bit extreme for some of us. Nonetheless, she exists. We see her every day. Maybe in our own mirror. For many of us, we are less extreme than the images of Toula and Margaret, and often an odd mixture of both (as I have been). But no matter, we are hiding and/or striving just the same. And it is soul-killing to us and to those around us.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We strive to look our best with just the right makeup and </span><span style="font-size: small;">the latest trendy clothes </span><span style="font-size: small;">(I'm not knocking them! Wearing them as I type!) Don't forget the latest diet craze and exercise routines. We hide in the kitchen, behind our books, our office, or mounds of laundry. </span><span style="font-size: small;">Women are busy at work, often avoiding eye contact and intimate/vulnerable conversation, or feeding our constant need for control.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It all seems legit, right? I mean, after all, the laundry does have to be folded, and, shouldn't we always look our best? Office work cannot be ignored, and hey, we all need a break with a book or something, right? Yes, and No. What the world, the men in our lives, our children, family, and friends need from us most is our <i>heart</i>.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The excerpt below is taken from an experience John and Stasi Eldredge had several years ago with a woman of deep beauty.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“June is one of the most beautiful women we have ever met. We encountered her a few years ago while doing a retreat on the coast of North Carolina. Her hair was long, swept up loosely and held by decorative combs. She wore unique, dangly earrings and pretty flowing skirts. Her eyes sparkled when she laughed, which she did often, and her smile lit up the room. She was clearly in love with her husband, her face adoring as she gazed at him. June was at rest with herself, at home in who she was. Talking with her, just being with her, made us feel more at rest with ourselves as well. Her spacious, beautiful soul invited others to come, to be, to taste and see that the Lord is good, whatever was happening in your life. She wept at the retreat. She laughed at the retreat. She was gloriously alive and in love, both with her husband and with the God of the Universe…And June was about seventy-five years old…What is the difference?...June’s beauty flows from a heart at rest.”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">(<i>Captivating</i>, p. 135)<i> </i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i> </i></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ipUI0PaQ4Vc/TnGPCpm_uzI/AAAAAAAAAIU/Lj4dTjkgYNc/s1600/Esther-One+Night+With+The+King.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ipUI0PaQ4Vc/TnGPCpm_uzI/AAAAAAAAAIU/Lj4dTjkgYNc/s1600/Esther-One+Night+With+The+King.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">June reminds me of Esther in "One Night With The King", the beautiful and courageous young woman taken from the pages of Scripture, whose beautiful heart stole the king's.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/10/gods-love-part-viii-experience-width.html">Eve was created to offer life</a>, and one of the most glorious ways we do this as women is through our beauty. It is obvious by now that we are talking about a soulish beauty. Every woman possesses it. We are born with it, granted us by God Himself, as it is one of the ways we bear His image <i>as a woman</i>. (God himself is beautiful, Revelation 4:3, 6; Psalm 27:4; Isaiah 6:3 proclaims his beauty through the created world; just to name a few!)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Think about it. Who are you most "at home" with? With whom do you find yourself at ease and able to truly be yourself around? In those moments, if I were a betting person, I would bet that's when you let your guard down and your heart shows up. In their presence you aren't afraid and you feel secure, no longer needing to hide or strive. No need to flip the switch to survival mode.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is where we must learn to live no matter who we are with or where we are. Impossible? June would say no. The invitation is to come again, as we explore the depths of beauty and how we may unveil it.</span></div>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-20227909413231260092011-09-09T17:46:00.005-04:002011-10-06T00:04:29.743-04:00"Beauty." Why is it an ugly word?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cDpy1coQcQQ/TmqI8B5BveI/AAAAAAAAAIE/NHeb3hD7uOY/s1600/fall+mountain+color.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cDpy1coQcQQ/TmqI8B5BveI/AAAAAAAAAIE/NHeb3hD7uOY/s320/fall+mountain+color.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Driving eastward on interstate twenty-four through Tennessee, stands a mountain waiting to be crossed. It's the only straight shot from the music city of Nashville to the valley of Chattanooga. And it is a glorious one! From the top begins the descent with twists and turns and runaway truck paths off to the left in case one loses control on the steep grade. Jagged rock walls stand guard on one side, while tall trees border the other. All of a sudden, as the last tight corner throws its curve, the curtains are thrown back to reveal a mass landscape of flowing hills, mountain peaks, and deep valleys below.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In autumn (my favorite time to pass through there), cascading colors of deep reds, bright oranges and yellows flow for miles down one mountainside and up another, dancing through patches of evergreens. All to a backdrop of crisp blue sky scattered with wispy white clouds. Awing tears wash the eyes at the beauty and lavishness of God's goodness. It sucks the breath right out of the lungs in a deep inhale of the soul. With the exhale, all troubles and perils seem to dissipate for that moment. And the soul rests.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth. Beauty </i>speaks. <i>Beauty </i>invites. <i>Beauty </i>nourishes. <i>Beauty </i>comforts. <i>Beauty </i>inspires. <i>Beauty is </i>transcendent. <i>Beauty draws us to God. As Simone Weil writes, ‘The beauty of the world is almost the only way by which we can allow God to penetrate us…Beauty captivates the senses in order to obtain permission to pass straight through to the soul…The soul’s inclination to love beauty is the trap God most frequently uses in order to win it.’</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>God has given this Beauty to Eve, to every woman. Beauty is core to a woman—who she is and what she longs to be—and one of the most glorious ways we bear the image of God in a broken and often ugly world. It’s messy to talk about. It’s mysterious. And that should not surprise us. Women are creatures of great mystery; <u>not problems to be solved but mysteries to be enjoyed</u>. And that, too, is part of her glory.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Eldredge, Captivating pp. 133-134, underlining mine)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">If this is true, then why has “beauty” become such an ugly word to most of us as women?</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We've all heard the saying, "beauty is only skin deep." So we trump that with, "real beauty is from within!" But if we're honest, we don't really believe it for ourselves. Often, a woman despises the demand for beauty. Mostly because it has been mishandled, assaulted and abused, tossed aside, and trampled over. Our world has scared it (true beauty) into hiding with its insatiable appetite and gross advertisement for the physical.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Eldredge further writes that "beauty is the most <i>essential</i>, and yes, the most <i>misunderstood </i>of all the feminine qualities...that it is an essence every woman carries from the moment of her creation. The only things standing in the way of our beauty are our doubts and fears, and the hiding and striving we fall to as a result."</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">To Be Continued...</span></span></span></i>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-2530864135092047872011-09-07T00:45:00.000-04:002011-09-07T00:45:50.463-04:00It is Coming!For those who are following along through the posts of the past month or so, I apologize for my slowness in getting the next post out! I have fallen behind amidst life and stuff! You should find the next post out by the end of this week, Lord willing. Thanks for your patience and understanding!<br />
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Until then, there is plenty to read or re-read from the past year--I have found it takes intention to continue to stay alive to the heart and live from it as Jesus intends and offers. (Proverbs 4:23, John 10:10, Isaiah 61:1-3) Come to him dear sisters, and breathe deeply!Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-32459790628962653992011-08-26T01:51:00.006-04:002011-10-06T00:03:31.351-04:00Beauty SpeaksThe beauty of a past that has been healed is expressed in <i>The Song of Solomon:</i><br />
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<i><b>“My beloved speaks and says to me: ‘Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come…” (2:10-12 ESV)</b></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Winter symbolizes deadness. Picture the harshest environment. Gray skies of foreboding clouds set the mood. Trees are barren. Sources of water are frozen solid.<i><b> </b></i>The ground disappears under a blanket of white while a piercing silence dominates. You feel trapped inside, and life is scarce.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-G7K7PrL35Bk/Tlcv7HWJrYI/AAAAAAAAAH8/I9bvnJ6Xo5I/s1600/winter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-G7K7PrL35Bk/Tlcv7HWJrYI/AAAAAAAAAH8/I9bvnJ6Xo5I/s320/winter.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Quite the opposite is spring. Dancing sun rays dazzle across crystal blue skies. Lush green carpets of grass cushion our steps. Flowers of all colors stand to greet us while trees popping with leaves provide restful canopies of shade. Birds freely flit about singing their happy melodies, while life-giving water flows in abundance.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XP6SMhPwW3I/TlcwK3oWi3I/AAAAAAAAAIA/bxQHdpA_Rqo/s1600/Spring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XP6SMhPwW3I/TlcwK3oWi3I/AAAAAAAAAIA/bxQHdpA_Rqo/s320/Spring.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Before the shattered pieces of my heart--broken by a painful past--<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/12/from-slavery-to.html">were put back together again</a>, I had all but forgotten how to enjoy life. Days drudged on and nights were restless. The mind was forever a torturing instant replay. Smiles were a mask and true laughter was scarce. It was like being endlessly trapped in the dead of winter.<br />
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Then the rains came. A flood. Of tears, of questions, of pain (but at least there was feeling once again). With all of that came floods of God's love, His tender words (truthful answers), His healing touches.<br />
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Empty spaces popped up every where pain used to exist, and in every place that once bore the mark of shame. Canyons appeared where insecurities had ruled. Confusion set in and I didn't know what to do with all the emptiness. That's when God began to pour His life and His love into those empty places.<br />
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<b>The rainy season seemed to last forever...</b><br />
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</b><br />
<b> ...until the first signs of life appeared.</b><br />
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Admittedly, it was strange to see it. True life and love were foreign and unfamiliar. It was almost hard to accept at first. Kind of like the first flower to appear amidst a patch of snow that has yet to defrost. A sigh of relief came, as the worst was over.<br />
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The more life appeared, the more winter disappeared.<br />
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Life crowded out the deadness till all was teeming with color once again! A deep breath inhaled the sweet aromas, and the warmth of the Son brought on a stretch of new-found courage and excitement. Suddenly I felt free as the birds soaring through the bright sky...and, before I could help it, I found myself singing a new song!!<br />
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<i>I waited patiently for the L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span> to help me,<br />
and he turned to me and heard my cry.<br />
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,<br />
out of the mud and the mire.</i><br />
<i>He set my feet on solid ground<br />
and steadied me as I walked along.<br />
He has given me a new song to sing,<br />
a hymn of praise to our God.</i><br />
<i>Many will see what he has done and be amazed.<br />
They will put their trust in the L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span>.</i><br />
<i> </i><br />
(Psalm 40:1-3, NLT)<b> </b><br />
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<b>Love and life replace pain and shame.</b><b> This is the beauty of a past that has been healed. </b><br />
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<b><span style="color: blue;"> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</span> </b><br />
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As that begins to happen, inevitably we begin to relate to others with compassion and love. We find ourselves offering life in the darkest of places so that others may see and be amazed, and also put their trust in Jesus. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites.<br />
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These are the areas we will move into over the next few posts.Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-30365262420913165742011-08-09T00:54:00.002-04:002014-03-13T01:45:17.853-04:00Punt #6<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are continuing to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I have been reposting a few key blogs throughout the past week and part of this week.</span></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Repost #6</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love, Part XII: "Personal and Authentic Experience"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Imagine a most magnificent garden. Colors of every kind high and low, dancing up and down winding pathways—each turn a new wonder. Various aromas tease the senses as you pass by gardenias at your feet, and jasmine winding up tall trellises. Tall trees provide shade in quiet, restful corners, while sunlight streams over an open pond laden with lily pads.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Such stunning beauty and enjoyment takes time and careful attention to create. It does not happen overnight. Intimacy in relationships is much the same way. And a relationship with God is no different, requiring time and intentional effort.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Remember how our desire for romance found a way to express itself when we were little girls? (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/10/gods-love-part-vii-to-experience.html">God’s Love: Part VII, “To Experience”</a>) What was it that romanced your heart then? Was it the strength of horses, or the playfulness of puppies? The smell of coming rain in the air? The first snowfall of winter? Or crashing waves on a white sandy beach? Maybe it was a favorite book or movie that moved you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">God’s way of romancing us is deeply personal. He knows what you enjoy, and what things stir your heart. And He will often bring things back from your youth, awakening your heart to open up again. Many times we miss it because we have closed up our hearts in order to endure the pains of life. (I know I did.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Ask Him how He is romancing you now; to open your eyes to see how He is coming for you. It might be different than you expected. And it will always be exactly what you need. As you move forward on your healing journey, you will need to keep your heart open to receive what He brings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Before moving further, it is important to expose our enemy here: <i>Beware of the lies Satan uses when it comes to experiencing more of God’s love.</i> I was once unaware of such lies. They became obvious while attending a “Captivating” retreat several years ago in the Rockies of Colorado, based on the book <i>Captivating</i> by John and Stasi Eldredge, and led by their team. It is specifically designed to awaken and bring healing and restoration to the feminine heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Waking late and feeling poorly one particular morning left me alone and late getting ready for the morning session. Isolated from the others, a barrage of questions stormed relentlessly, creating doubt about God’s love and experiencing it. The women speakers had such amazing stories to tell and spoke of God’s love in such a way that caused a strange, deep longing. A feeling of void crept in where the longing stirred.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Do you really love me, God? How can I really know? I mean, I know you died on the cross for me and all. I know I experienced You when I asked You to forgive my sins and live in my heart a long time ago, and a few other key “spiritual” moments in my life. But, what about now? Is there more? I don’t have any experiences like the ones these women are sharing. How do I know you love me <u>now</u>?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The questions turned to conclusions to just believe what God says about His love and the cross, and that there is nothing more. That nothing new and ongoing and current is needed. (or, that God even wants to offer it…) Determining such experiences were just for the other women, and not for me, I headed out to the next session. Yet, the ache in my heart for more could not be quenched. Walking to the conference room, I told God I was jealous. Not <i>of the women</i>, but jealous <u><i>for HIM</i></u>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The first morning session was very intense and left us to ask what was keeping us from seeing the ways God wanted to romance us. The speakers had described very personal experiences of God romancing them, but few of us attending had such stories of our own. New questions erupted, compounding the first. <i>I don’t have experiences like theirs; do You love me like You do them? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Later in the morning, we dug deeper into God’s romance and pursuit of our hearts. Old familiar feelings of being a disappointment (even to God) arose, and I began to think as I often did, that something was wrong with me. This piled on top of earlier conclusions that such experiences were only for the other women and not me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Next, one of the ladies told us how the enemy will lie to us, hoping we will agree with him, therefore stealing the experiences God has for us. She led us in a time of prayer, asking us to listen for God to show us what agreements we’d made, and then renounce, or break them—naming each one—in Jesus’ name. Immediately, all my thoughts from the morning were on instant replay. Thinking maybe those thoughts were my agreements, I gave it a shot and, in a whisper, renounced “disappointment, and thinking that I was a constant disappointment,” and “that this is for the other women and not for me.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">No sooner than the words had left my tongue, the speaker said in a prayerful mode into the microphone, with passion and firmness, “You are <b><u>not</u></b> a disappointment to Me. You are <b>not</b>, you have <b>not</b>, nor have you <b><u>ever</u></b><b> </b>been a disappointment to ME! This is <b>not</b> just for the other women, <b>this is for YOU</b>.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Four hundred women in the room, and God, having known my every thought that morning, and all my life, chose to speak LOUD and CLEAR to me. Collapsing in my seat, I wept loudly. It was <b><i>obvious</i></b> God saw me, heard me, and LOVED me—and did, indeed, want to offer such new experiences of His love to me!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Believe He longs to offer this to <b><i>you</i></b>!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Moving on, it is equally important to understand that intimacy is a two-way street. Just as we long to be pursued and loved, God longs for us to pursue and love Him. We were made to worship—no, I’m not talking about going to church and singing hymns.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Authentic worship is abandoning ourselves to another, offering our hearts in stunning vulnerability. John Eldredge describes it as “what we give our hearts away to in return for a promise of life.” We just misplace it into things of this world. Shopping, food, other people (even a boyfriend or husband), fashion. Books or movies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Every one of us worships something and/or someone. We cannot help it. But Jesus is the only one worthy of such devotion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.”</i> (Jesus, in Matthew 22:37-38)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Get alone in a private place (it doesn’t have to be indoors!) with some worship music that moves your heart—music that speaks of an intimacy with Christ. Many times we’ll need to ask Him to create in us a hunger for Him; and to woo us into bringing our desire for life to <i>Him</i>. I’ve known women (Beth Moore is one of them) who close the door of their room and dance for Him as they worship. Others play an instrument or draw pictures of what He stirs as they worship. Sometimes I simply lie face down, with everything else shut out around me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Just begin to offer your heart to Him. Make time for Him in your schedule. Guard it, and fight for it. Make no mistake, it will be opposed by our enemy. For he knows what deep experiences of Jesus’ love will do—he fears who you are (a glorious image bearer of God) and who you can be once you are set free by the Lover of Your Soul.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As you and Jesus work together to cultivate this garden of love, not only will your heart begin to heal, but it will expand for more. You will be free to let Him love on you, and reciprocate such love back to Him. You will also be free to love others and allow them to love you. Much like the quiet, restful shade provided by lush trees in a beautiful garden, experiences of God’s love provide a spacious place of rest and peace for our souls.</span></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-57091822067941972182011-08-05T14:40:00.004-04:002011-10-04T00:41:10.535-04:00Punt #5<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are continuing to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I will be reposting a few key blogs throughout this week and next.</span></u></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-size: small;">Repost #5</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love, Part XI: "Experience the Height"</b></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TNTOXUTPacI/AAAAAAAAAEc/tlSIH80OFt8/s1600/Space+Art+Wallpapers+00.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TNTOXUTPacI/AAAAAAAAAEc/tlSIH80OFt8/s400/Space+Art+Wallpapers+00.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“And I pray that you, having been rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, <u>to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ</u>, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 17b-19)</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Which one of us has not marveled at some time in our life, at the billions of stars winking to us each night? Or pondered the magnificence of the sun and moon? How free they appear in all their glory. Oh that we could ride the waves of the Milky Way, and explore the mystery of the planets...and of our own souls. To rise with them to such heights where we are no longer captive to the troubles of this life.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Close your eyes and envision the person you long to be, all that you dream you could be…no longer at war within yourself, confident, sure, free of all shame and the labels of your past, both other- and self-inflicted.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>It is possible dear friends.</b> By it’s height, God’s love entitles us and raises us up to a most excellent happiness and glory through Jesus. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“He </i>[Jesus]<i> climbed the high mountain, He captured the enemy and seized the booty. He handed it all out in gifts to the people. Is it not true that the One who climbed up also climbed down, down to the valley of earth? And the One who climbed down is the One who climbed back up, up to the highest heaven. He handed out gifts above and below, filled heaven with his gifts, filled earth with his gifts.”</i> (Ephesians 4:8-10, <i>The Message</i>)</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">Through His death, bearing all our sin, Jesus went to the very depths of the earth. In doing so, He seized our enemies (According to Matthew Henry, Commentary, all that “had conquered us—such as sin, the devil, and death”). All that held us captive, He took captive unto Himself. He then rose to the highest height, carrying the booty with him—everything the enemy had stolen from us and all the things we’ve given up. And the best part is…He gives it all back to us!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>In doing so, we are freed to <i>experience the height</i> of His love.</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">A little word study might help us out here. Webster’s New World Dictionary and Thesaurus define “height” as the topmost point, the highest limit/extreme, the very distance from the <i>bottom to the top</i>. The word “high” in the same book is defined as superior, and greater in size, amount, degree, etc. than usual. The same word used in our key verse, Ephesians 3:18, stems from a root word in the Greek language meaning “for the sake of,” and “over, beyond, more than.”</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">In simple terms: On our behalf, God’s love—which is superior to all—reaches to the uttermost depths to rescue us; lifting us to the highest height, over and beyond all that we could possibly hope, imagine, or dream. Joy and peace return to us. <i>Life</i> returns, to the fullest! Enjoyment and laughter. Hope. Courage. On and on the list goes.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Such love surpasses mere knowledge</b>, as the beginning scripture states. It can only be understood by experience! The reason God’s role as Lover is so important and key to our story is because it is His <b><i>love</i></b> that woos us and draws us into a relationship with Him. All that He has done for us through His Son, He did so out of love to free us from captivity and win us back to Himself.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">It is more than a “get out of hell free” card. God’s love invites us into an epic adventure, with the freedom to explore all His mysteries, which are even greater than the mysteries of the stars and space. We can trade our sin and shame, and all the labels of our past for a freedom and a love that catapults us to new heights. This is how high God’s love is…and even then, it exceeds our prayers, desires, hopes, and dreams.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Believe it's true. Believe it's for <i>you.</i></span></b><br />
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<i>The Spirit of the Sovereign L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span> is upon me [Jesus, Luke 4:18-21],<br />
for the L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span> has anointed me<br />
to bring good news to the poor.<br />
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted<br />
and to proclaim that captives will be released<br />
and prisoners will be freed.<br />
He has sent me to tell those who mourn<br />
that the time of the L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span>’s favor has come,<br />
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.<br />
To all who mourn in Israel,<br />
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,<br />
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,<br />
festive praise instead of despair.</i><b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">(Isaiah 61:1-3, NLT) </span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-53216003871010551992011-08-03T11:19:00.002-04:002011-08-05T14:33:18.071-04:00Punt #4<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are going to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I will be reposting a few key blogs throughout this week and next.</span></u></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-size: small;">Repost #4</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love, Part X: "Experience the Depth"</b></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TMuD32f_pMI/AAAAAAAAAEY/6tAl9W3mGSc/s1600/sunlight_deep_ocean_kan.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TMuD32f_pMI/AAAAAAAAAEY/6tAl9W3mGSc/s320/sunlight_deep_ocean_kan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“And I pray that you, having been rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, <u>to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ</u>, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It is known that in the deepest, darkest oceans lie the scariest monsters of the sea. No one knows all that lurks there. Thousands of miles down under where there is no light, swim creatures with fangs and gruesome fish that eat their prey from the inside out. It is not a place most of us would want to go, given the opportunity.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ironically, if we’re honest, almost every woman feels a bit that way about her heart. Deep unchartered waters of our past, insecurities that grip our present, painful things we have been through, and the sin we have clung to—not to mention all the labels we carry from these things. Oh how we fear exploring the depths; and we most certainly wouldn’t take our men there to look around, maybe not even our best friend. Heck, we don’t even want to go there ourselves!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>If they knew the true me, they would surely run!</i> We feel we are just too much for anyone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even those who have joined the women’s lib movement, the one who appears so sure of herself and in control. Both the false confidence and the liberalism are often a mask to the scars that fuel her control and need to compete. Scars that hide deep below the surface.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our depths seem so dark because of the weightiness it holds. Others have mishandled us, and we in turn have mishandled ourselves. The sin and darkness and all the labels we carry feel like the truest things about us. Who could possibly love us enough to go there? We believe the depths of our hearts may even be too deep for God’s love to reach.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some of the things we’ve been through, and some of the things we’ve done (or fear we’re capable of doing), feel like hell to us.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">But what if…just maybe…God’s love is deeper than the deepest hell?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In Job chapter eleven, we find the deep things of God are described as <i>deeper than hell</i>. That would include His love. The Psalmist in chapter one-hundred-thirty-nine exclaims that even if he makes his bed in hell, lo and behold, God is there! And if God is there, His love is also.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Jesus personally knows the greatest depths; He’s been there. He took on all our sin through the cross. He prophesies of His own death, and how just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a whale, so the Son of Man would be in the heart of the earth. (Matthew 12:40) Because He conquered death (and sin) by rising to life again, and furthermore ascending to heaven, He holds the keys of death and hell itself. (Revelation 1:18)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whatever dark and scary things you fear lurking in your heart, your Jesus has already been there. He has already conquered the depths of hell, the sin and the shame. He holds the keys to unlock the depths of your heart and set you free.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Set us free for what? What if the sin and shame, the wounds and labels really aren’t the truest things about us?</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We have heard much about original sin, but very little of original glory. If you’ve been in church much, heard the creation story, or read through all these posts on God’s love (Aug., Sep., & Oct. 2010 archives), you will remember we were created <i>in the image of God</i>, and that we <i>bear His image</i>. There was a glory about us <i>before</i> the marring of sin. And that glory, His image, is written on our hearts.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">He longs to set us free from all that holds our heart captive so He can restore that image. But what might it mean to bear His image? To bear His image <i>as a woman</i>? God knows some of us have tried to make our hearts masculine to survive in this world where the male sex dominates (God’s image on his heart is marred, too.) “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” the saying goes, right? But the world needs our feminine heart.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The full explanation is too much for this post, but since we’re talking about the deepest part of our heart and about love, God’s love, we’ll concentrate on that. If the deepest, truest thing about God’s heart is love, then it stands to reason the same is true of the image He stamped upon us. He gave us the most sacred thing of all, a heart with the ability and capacity <i>to</i> love, and to <i>receive</i> love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not just any love, but passionate love. Love is relational, and we are relational to our very core, as God is. We, as women, are not satisfied with just any kind of love, but the kind that relentlessly pursues us and actually desires us. A love that uncovers the darkness and reveals the beauty inside. We long to be romanced, to be fully known, and to know fully. A love that woos us!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It isn’t too much to ask. In this way, we bear His image. We want this because God wants this.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“You will… find me when you seek me with all your heart.”</i> (Jeremiah 29:13)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes…”</i> (Song of Solomon 4:9)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’””</i> (Matthew 22:37)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">The problem is, we’ve allowed the wounds of our life, both self and other inflicted, those dark and scary, hellacious experiences to convince us that we are too much, and not enough. That we might as well keep those places off limits because nobody, even our own self or God, can handle them or knows what to do with them. Yet we fear being found out.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We’re not willing to go there. But go there we must. It is not as scary as you might think. And we don’t have to go alone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The same Psalm mentioned earlier also says there is nowhere we can go that His Spirit cannot follow, and no place where we can escape His presence. Jesus is able and willing to go with us to our depths, to heal our hearts and restore His image upon us. Because of His love, God will explore the unchartered waters of our heart that He might reach the dark places within us and usher us back out into the light. To heal and restore the things which were once lost or stolen. By doing so, we are freed to experience the fullness of God’s love, and to love fully in return.</span></span><br />
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<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/7C2o0jHNRuU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/7C2o0jHNRuU?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-4946026409905530462011-08-01T00:15:00.002-04:002011-08-01T11:55:11.142-04:00Punt #3<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are going to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I will be reposting a few key blogs throughout this week and next.</span></u></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-size: small;">Repost #3</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love, Part IX: "Experience the Length"</b></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TMDw_YfDmGI/AAAAAAAAAEU/xICgQTxbRdg/s1600/Long_Distance_Running.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TMDw_YfDmGI/AAAAAAAAAEU/xICgQTxbRdg/s400/Long_Distance_Running.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“And I pray that you, having been rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, <u>to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ</u>, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”</i></span> </div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not many of us are long distance runners. For most, the very thought causes us to cringe. <i>“No thanks!”</i> It takes stamina and endurance, a great resistance to the elements within and without the body. A good runner must be able to endure pain, heat, cold, and resist fatigue. He or she must be able to persevere when the body urges to quit before the race is over, keeping his/her eye fixed on the prize ahead.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I don’t know many people who want to willingly put their body through such harsh conditions and training. We usually find ways to avoid this, not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually in our lives. <i>Give us the easy way out.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Since we’re apt to look for the easy route, or the great escape, in some form or fashion, maybe that’s why we have a hard time believing God’s love can outlast us. Surely He’s given Himself a scapegoat. There are times we don’t love ourselves, so why on earth would <i>He</i> still love us?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We may understand God went to the greatest lengths any one could for another…loving us enough to give His only Son, Jesus, to die in our place for our sin. Ransom. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/09/gods-love-part-iv-loves-response.html">God’s Love: Part IV, “Love’s Response”</a>) But do we believe His love is just as strong for us today as the day we first believed? Do we question whether He still loves us at times?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Several years ago, I began what I like to call a “head on collision with my past.” I explained my healing journey in general terms in my testimony, <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/08/where-to-begin.html">“Where to Begin.”</a> My heart was hemorrhaging from unhealed wounds of long ago, and I had developed unhealthy styles of relating to others because of those wounds. Our arch enemy had also taken liberty to fill my mind with lies in those wounded places.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">God came to rescue me from my pain and from myself, giving me courage to face past abuses and other wounds, both other- and self-afflicted. He did so in order to shine His truth on each situation, and bring much needed healing. But surrendering my old habits wasn’t always easy, and owning the truths for myself was downright hard at times.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our enemy does not want us to receive such healing and freedom, either. And some days I would almost buckle under the weight of his whispers. <i>You’ll never make it. It’s too hard. Just give up.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I remember one particularly difficult day while the kids were at school. I was folding laundry, and keenly aware of my pain, my mess-ups with old habits, and the enemy’s voice. Finally, I sat down, exasperated. I blurted out to God, <i>“I’m afraid Your grace will run out on me!”</i> I couldn’t believe the sound of my own words; I wept, fearing His response.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">So tenderly and lovingly He said to me, from His very Word in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “<i>My grace IS sufficient for you.”</i> The easiest way to dispel a lie is with the truth! And I knew this to be true in my <i>mind</i>, but never believed it in my heart until that moment. In the Scripture context, Paul was describing his weakness (we all have them!), and how, as he struggled with God over it, this was God’s answer. The Lord went even further to say, <i>“My power is made perfect in weakness.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Well, what does grace have to do with love</i>, you might ask? Everything! Even the Webster’s New World Dictionary and Thesaurus describes grace as the “love and favor of God toward [mankind].” Meaning, we can trust that God’s grace, love, and favor will be sufficient for us, no matter our weakness!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hebrews Chapter four takes it all a step further, describing Jesus as our great High Priest with ready access to God—and able to understand our weaknesses since He faced them all Himself, yet without sin. He is not out of touch with our reality. We can come boldly to him for help, where we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. (verses 14-16)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Like a runner, God is no stranger to endurance. The phrase, <i>His love endures <u>forever</u></i>, appears thirty-six times in the Psalms alone. Why so many? Maybe the Psalmist knew how much we’d need reminding and convincing!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the same dictionary I mentioned earlier, endurance is described as “having the ability to last, stand pain, etc.” His love can withstand the pain of our sin and weaknesses, without wavering. Why on earth would He bother?! </span><span style="font-size: small;">Because Love hopes—hopes that we will turn to Him and accept His help—hopes for <i>you</i>. (I Corinthians 13)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was passionate love that fueled Jesus to his death; the greatest display and length of love. He endured the cross for you and for me. Hebrews 12:2 describes Him as enduring the cross because of the joy awaiting him. Think of it as the prize for winning a race. </span><span style="font-size: small;">Jesus fixes His eyes on the prize that will bring Him the greatest joy—us—<i><u>you</u></i>.</span><span style="font-size: small;"> Whatever it takes, however long it takes, the length of God’s love will find you.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">And the best part, Love won't leave you where He found you, but will bring you along for the race, and take you places you only dreamed possible. </span></div>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-52645221347216459042011-07-28T00:12:00.002-04:002011-07-29T17:25:17.046-04:00Punt #2<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are going to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I will be reposting a few key blogs throughout this week and next.</span></u></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><span style="font-size: small;">Repost #2</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love, Part VIII: "Experience the Width"</b></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nDuR3Co4FAA/TjDghKWZbpI/AAAAAAAAAHw/IRrYFB272LE/s1600/Vast+Ocean.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nDuR3Co4FAA/TjDghKWZbpI/AAAAAAAAAHw/IRrYFB272LE/s320/Vast+Ocean.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><i>“I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, having been rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, <u>to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ</u>, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The dimensions Paul spoke of in this passage concerning Christ’s love for us are four: width, length, height, and depth. It is simply a means to show the magnitude of the vision that opens before us as we seek to comprehend such love. A love that is more vast than the deepest and widest ocean, yet without boundary!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Picture yourself in the center of that mighty ocean. Just as the water envelops you as a glove, with each dimension, so does the love of Jesus! Underneath you, all around you is the current of His love! (taken from the song, “O the Deep Deep Love of Jesus,” by Samuel Francis) You cannot move, and His love not move with you. Its compass is complete, and penetrates every fiber of our being.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Though Paul offered this vision as a whole, breaking down each dimension may help reveal more truths of God’s love, and dispel any lies from our enemy. Lies that seek to steal our believing such love and our full experience of God’s love!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Job 11:9 tells us His love is broader, wider than the sea. Imagine a door opening that wide—wide enough to allow all of humankind to pass through. The love of God is that wide. He does not pick and choose whom He will love. He created every one of us, including you, and His love is extended to all ages, gender, races, nations, and ranks.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“For God so loved the <i>world</i> that He gave His one and only Son.” (John 3:16a) That includes all of us! Even though we have betrayed Him, and while we were still sitting in our stench, God loved us enough to send His Son to die for us. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/09/gods-love-part-iii-what-happened.html">God’s Love: Part III, “What Happened?”</a>) Not because He had to, but because He <i>chose</i> to. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/09/gods-love-part-iv-loves-response.html">Part IV, “Love’s Response"</a>)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”</i> (Romans 5:8)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yet, something still whispers in the heart of a woman that we are somehow, or in some way outside the scope of God’s love. (men, too, but we’re focusing on women right now) Society has dealt us a raw blow, belittling our worth. Sadly, the church has not always served us better. Our role is diminished, misunderstood, and our very creation is often viewed as an “afterthought.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/08/gods-love-part-ii-creations-story.html">God’s love: Part II, “Creation’s Story,”</a> we explored how the order of things God created grew in detail, complexity, and awe. Like a symphony, it builds and builds; a crescendo, until finally, it reaches its climax. God, having created every living thing, including Adam, assesses His handiwork and realizes it is not complete.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Enter Eve. The astonishing crescendo. The final touch of God’s masterpiece. The Crown of Creation, as she is referred to in <i>Captivating</i>. Paul writes that man “is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.” (1 Corinthians 11:7) You are not an afterthought.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I can hear some of us scoffing, <i>Yeah, right. Try telling </i>that <i>to society and much of the church. </i>We’ve been duped to believe we are a lesser gender, and that we were created to be man’s slave<i>.</i> We feel unseen, unsought, and uncertain (<i>Captivating</i>). With such thoughts, we either take control, or fall in a heap of worthlessness.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We must not look to a fallen world to tell us our worth. What if the part we were given in this story is much grander and vital than we’ve been made to believe? Thankfully, it is!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 10pt;">“When God creates Eve, he calls her an </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;">ezer kenegdo<i>. ‘It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an </i>ezer kenegdo<i>]’ (Genesis 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is ‘notoriously difficult to translate.’ The various attempts we have in English are ‘helper’ or ‘companion’ or the notorious ‘help meet.’ Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat…disappointing? What is a help meet, anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing, ‘One day I shall be a help meet’? Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it ‘sustainer beside him.’</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> The word </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;">ezer<i> is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your </span></i><span style="font-size: 10pt;">ezer<i>. If he is not there beside you…you are dead. A better translation therefore of </i>ezer<i> would be ‘lifesaver.’ </i>Kenegdo<i> means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 10pt;">(John and Stasi Eldredge, <i>Captivating</i>)<i> </i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">WHOA. <i>This</i> is Eve. This is woman. This is <i>you</i>. And I dare say this is why God loves you. Not because He “has to.” He sees who you can be, and He longs to redeem the <i>ezer kenegdo</i> hidden inside.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;">You are not outside the scope of His love! No matter what you’ve done, no matter your background, God loves you. Jesus spread His arms “wide” enough to bear the world’s sin on the cross to ransom us. To ransom you. That is love! You need only to choose Him. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/09/gods-love-part-vi-our-response.html">God’s Love: Part VI, “Our Response”</a>) Then, you will be in a position to fully experience the extravagant dimensions of His love!</span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-86477890751695101822011-07-25T21:57:00.002-04:002011-07-29T17:25:54.385-04:00Back up and Punt<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><span style="color: black;">"</span><i style="color: black;">Back up and Punt</i><span style="color: black;">." That is exactly what we are going to do this week to set the stage of our hearts. All so we can move forward and continually achieve the goal of life and freedom we long for. In a recent blog (Bold Love) it was mentioned that repentance for the wounded includes a refusal to be "dead," a refusal to mistrust (not care about) others, and a refusal to despise intimacy and passion. Before we can embrace these themes, we need to be reminded of how God fiercely loves us and experience more of his fierce love. To help accomplish this, I will be reposting a few key blogs throughout this week and next.</span></u></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Repost #1</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>God's Love: Part VII, "To Experience"</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="post-header" style="font-family: inherit;"></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TK-S0WPbiLI/AAAAAAAAAEM/ZoilTY6yOjw/s1600/dressup_wedding_veil.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3QqjaP6OmPA/TK-S0WPbiLI/AAAAAAAAAEM/ZoilTY6yOjw/s1600/dressup_wedding_veil.jpg" /></a></span></div><div><span style="font-size: small;">When my three girls were younger, they had a large assortment of small dolls and more accessories than you could imagine. Several large tubs full. In the world of pretending, they were inevitably drawn to create the perfect wedding, complete with the perfect bride and groom. Today, the older two love reading books with great adventure and purpose, and, more importantly to them, two characters destined to fall in love.</span></div></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">As a child, I was more apt to be riding bikes, climbing trees, and racing the guys in the neighborhood on my 4-wheeler (except when I was being mommy to my family of Cabbage Patch Kids)! But I had a strong affinity for horses. I was drawn to their strength, and daydreamed often about the intense love a girl and her horse seem to share. I longed for that experience. I ached for it.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whether we were a girly-girl or a tomboy, our desire for romance found a way to express itself when we were young. Now that we are women, it finds its way into the movies we love and the stories we enjoy. It’s the sigh of our hearts in <i>The Proposal</i><i> </i>when Andrew realizes his love for Margaret, and when Edward returns for Elinor in<i> Sense and Sensibility</i>. It is Jack and Rose in <i>Titanic</i> out on the bow of the ship.</span> <span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I’m well aware that for most of us, our hearts have been mishandled, maybe even abused and misused. We may have buried this longing, or even abandoned it altogether. But it cannot be fully silenced. Can you at least see that you long for this?</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We want to know that we are the center of someone’s attention. <i>Do you see me? Do you delight in me?</i> We want to know fully, and to be fully known. To know beyond any shadow of doubt that we are, indeed, loved. This is written on our hearts by the One who created us in His image! </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">While man was intended to love a woman in this way, the fulfillment of our longings for romance doesn’t have to wait for a man. God wants us to know that <i>HE</i> loves us this way! He wants you to know that <i>you</i> are the apple of His eye. (Psalm 17:8, Zechariah 2:8) Yes, He will sometimes love us, romance us through a man, but He also longs to bring this to you <i>Himself</i>.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now, in order to understand this and embrace it, we must remove the religious veil and see the heart of God as Lover. The Lover of our Souls. Jesus refers to himself as the <i>Bridegroom</i> (Matt. 9:15; Matt. 25:1-10; John 3:29), which simply means fiancé. “Lover.” This metaphor is an invitation to the kind of relationship and intimacy Jesus longs for with us. (Stasi Eldredge, <i>Captivating</i>) If your heart fills with question and hesitancy in this, as mine once did (given my wounded heart), it just means there is healing for your heart here.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">For most of my life, I felt like I had to be doing everything “right” in order for God to love me. Consequently, I lived in a hopeless state of believing I was a constant disappointment! Sometimes we feel He loves us because He “has to.”</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">A few years ago, during a time I struggled to understand how God loves me, I brought my anguish before the Lord. In the quiet with my eyes closed, He gave me a vision of myself as a newborn baby. Having felt the intense, almost inexplicable love for my own children as newborns, I could sense Him smiling in deep delight over me then. Pictures of my childhood flashed, and once again I could feel the love of God smiling over me.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Then He brought to mind a picture of myself in the present, as a woman. It felt as though the lights had gone out. I had no problem believing He loved me when I was a baby and even as a young child…but <i>as a woman?</i> How could He love me the same now? With all my failures and weaknesses?</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Paul prays for us in Ephesians 3:18 that we would be able to understand the love of God. How high and deep, how wide and long it is for us! God wants us to believe His love endures <i>all</i> things, even our failures and weaknesses, and that it will never fail us even then. (1 Corinthians 13:7, 8)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">But how will we know?<br />
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To understand God’s love is to <i>experience His love</i>. All day long my husband can tell me that he loves me; but if he never puts actions to his words that <i>show</i> his love for me, if there is never any <i>experience</i> of his love, then I cannot possibly believe or understand it.</span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our God longs to heal us and mature us through His love into mature women (and men) who actually know Him. He wants us to <i>experience</i> verses like I mentioned in my personal testimony (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/08/where-to-begin.html">click here to read</a>): “Therefore I am going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her” (Hos. 2:14). To experience what it means to be quieted by His love, as I did through a time of restless questioning (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/08/whats-in-name.html">click here for more</a>). And, “you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride.” (Song of Solomon 4:9)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Oh how we long for this!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our Enemy does not want us to experience God’s love in new and fresh, tangible ways. He tells us that we must be productive and useful to be loved by God (and sadly, even by others, especially in the church). Shame exaggerates our hearts, and we are pressed to believe that we are not enough, or even that we are too much to be loved. So we settle for less through duty and productivity, believing obedience is all we have left. We are convinced that understanding God’s love is simply an acquired knowledge of the mind, and we shut down our hearts.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Faithful obedience to God is vital, but it is not all God draws us to. It is not sufficient for our healing, no more than doing the laundry is sufficient for a marriage. And it will not be enough in the long run to carry us through. The persecuted Church is vast today. More Christians are being martyred in our lifetime than in any other time in church history. It is not obedience that is carrying our brothers and sisters—unwavering, steadfast, eyes ablaze—to their deaths. It is holy, fierce passion. Hearts afire.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about His heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love? This is, after all, what a woman was made for.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Stasi Eldredge in Captivating)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are no longer children, and we’ve put away childish things such as our dolls and toys. But we are called to be <i>childlike</i>—there’s a difference. Our longings as a little girl are not far off base. They are not so foolish after all. In fact, they are telling us the key to experiencing God.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">These longings cause us to ache; to ache for the love we were made for. And to ache is to be alive; it is a good thing. We must ask Jesus to come for us here in these longings. To rescue us, to romance our hearts. Keep pressing, keep asking. Love is His specialty—and He wants to experience it with you. New. Fresh. Everyday.</span></div>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-27893102755566429112011-07-20T02:23:00.002-04:002011-07-23T22:43:39.257-04:00What it Is and Isn't, and Longs to Be<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FBfVfnuWE2o/TiZ1R4fPY7I/AAAAAAAAAHo/hAUEzDstN4w/s1600/blog+background1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FBfVfnuWE2o/TiZ1R4fPY7I/AAAAAAAAAHo/hAUEzDstN4w/s320/blog+background1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>In wrapping up the sub-series on forgiveness, I offer this compilation (below) of the main points from the previous 7 blogs. To address every unique situation would be nothing short of impossible, and the full topic of forgiveness and bold love can only be contained not in one book, but several! Each of us must look at our own relationships and carefully walk with God through prayer, listening, and studying his Word (along with the wise counsel of others with experience) to find the best individual route.</i></span> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>A person’s sin against us is the taking of something that cannot be returned by the offender.</b> Lord knows I’ve wanted to grab hold of some of my offenders and shake the living hound out of them, demanding they give back what they’ve taken! But forgiving is to release them—and to no longer demand from them the debt they owe. It is recognizing they cannot return what has been stolen, and turning to the only One who can.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is because we are speaking not of things, but the sacred: innocence, joy, security, trust, etc.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yet some of us are waiting to <i>feel</i> something first, as though forgiveness means we should have some ushy-gushy feeling of releasing the person. Much as I did when seeking to forgive my greatest offender. That is when a prayer counselor said to me, “It’s not about a feeling. Forgiving is an act of the will. Feelings come later.” If we wait for feelings to come first, they will never come! Yet if we want our heart to follow, we must choose to forgive.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>A common myth is that forgiving is to say the wound didn’t matter.</b> Forgiveness is not saying the wound didn’t matter, rather, the opposite. It is saying it did matter, and it hurt me deeply. What you did was wrong, and I release you to God. I will not be your captive any more. (John and Stasi Eldredge, <i>Captivating</i>)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">It took a while for my own heart to catch up, but I found it to be true that as long as I was unforgiving, I was bound to my offenders and to the messages of their wounds. Not only does the act of forgiving release the person to God, but it also releases our own heart!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Several key verses (Matt. 6:12, 14; 18:21, 35) use the word “forgive.” The Greek word is <i>aphiemi</i>, which means “to send away.” Furthermore in these verses it means “to let go, give up a debt, by not demanding it.” The prefix, <i>apo</i>, is described as “any kind of separation of one thing from another by which the union or fellowship of the two is destroyed.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">By forgiving we give up the debt the wrongful person owes us and choose to no longer demand it from them. Instead, turning to Jesus to heal and restore us. <i>“I </i>[the Lord]<i> will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…”</i> Joel 2:25. In doing so we peel off (like an onion), separate if you will, another layer, destroying the union between us and the wrongdoer.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>But what happens if we don’t choose forgiveness?</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>A root of bitterness is conceived.</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>And if that root is left unattended?</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Hebrews 12:15)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Allowing bitterness to take root undoes the work of the Lord, and therefore puts layers back on, weighting us down once again. When bitterness gives birth, Webster’s dictionary describes it as sharp, unpleasant, disagreeable, and harsh.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">If this is you (as it was once me!), I urge you to take courage, invite Jesus back in to heal and to help you peel off those weighty and undesirable layers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Often, an insatiable appetite for vengeance grows where we are unwilling (and even unable) to forgive.</b> Those who hurt you, those you long to hurt in return, already are suffering because of their sin. (unless they have come to repentance and turned completely from their sinful ways, Act 3:19; though even then they may still suffer consequences)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“But your sins will eat away at you from within and you’ll groan among yourselves.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Ezekiel 24:23b, The Message)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Those who remain unrepentant and deny their sin against you <i>are already </i>suffering.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Romans 12:19, NASB)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Enough said. That arena belongs to God. And we need not get in his way or take matters into our own hands—as hard as that may be sometimes (and lest we sin ourselves in doing so!). For those whom we find it more difficult to forgive, we must call upon the help of the Lord, who promises that vengeance is his and that he will repay their sins.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Back to those “layers”… As we choose to forgive, we must not be surprised by our grief.</b> We grieve what was lost and stolen by another’s wrong action. Grief is painful and intense. The deeper we walk into our wounded heart, the more intense it gets.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Inviting Jesus to go with us and heal our broken hearts will inevitably bring us to the choice to forgive. As we do, He is then able to do His work and “close up” that layer.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">But then He takes us deeper, and another layer of our wound is revealed. There, more healing must take place. <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-will-set-you-free.html">More truth must replace the lies we’ve believed</a>. More needs to be restored. And another opportunity to forgive presents itself.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">The next time you are surprised by your emotions and thoughts <i>after</i> choosing to forgive, remember the onion. Forgiveness over even a single issue is rarely a one-time, final event. Layer by layer we heal, and layer by layer we forgive.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Finally, Jesus gives us specific instruction towards our brothers and sisters in the faith. (Keep in mind the timetables will vary greatly, with no exact steps or techniques for every circumstance.)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">And if he or she doesn’t listen…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">“…take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">And if that doesn’t work…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">“…you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">(<i>The Message</i>, Matthew 18:15-17)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Whoa. This is not something we see everyday. Nor is this permission to gossip or tattletale if the offender does not listen to us. Such an act must flow from a heart aiming for redemption in another, AND be preceded by MUCH prayer. With God’s grace at work within us, we can boldly go where few people do—loving by way of confronting, and with the goal of restoration for another human heart.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Evil expects us to recoil in fear and shame. To hide in its shadows, giving way to death as we bar the doors of our heart while refusing passion and intimacy. It thrives in such conditions, seizing control over its wounded. For most of us, it’s how our heart responds to hurt.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Romans 12:20-21)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is the hope and possibility when we live by the wisdom of Paul in Romans 12:20-21.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Paul strikes a death blow against evil when he tells us to give evil life. It is like pouring life-giving water on the Wicked Witch of the West—she melts. Life and death do not mix. And when life, light, and love—in all its humble beauty, broken strength, frail boldness, and passionate other-centeredness—encounters evil, evil must flee or be transformed.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Dr. Dan Allender in <u>The Wounded Heart</u>, pp. 244-245)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In conclusion, as we choose forgiveness, we grieve and allow Jesus to heal our wounded hearts while separating the unholy union between us and the offender. Boldly we confront, in love, and even courageously offer kindness in the face of evil. For evil cannot last in the light of bold love. All the while experiencing the freedom and life for which we desperately desire.</span></span></b>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-55325313171516180532011-07-07T01:25:00.003-04:002013-03-20T00:40:27.604-04:00Kill 'em With...Kindness?<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">Evil expects us to recoil in fear and shame. To hide in its shadows, giving way to death as we bar the doors of our heart while refusing passion and intimacy. It thrives in such conditions, seizing control over its wounded. For most of us, it’s how our heart responds to hurt.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In the last post, we unraveled some deep truths about bold love and what that might look like in the realm of forgiveness. We grazed the idea of confrontation and rebuke, offered in hopes of repentance and redemption for the ones who have wronged us. And now, another concept of bold love and forgiveness:</span><span style="font-size: small;"> doing good to those who hurt us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">No, it’s not our knee-jerk reaction! But one that can only come from a mature heart. A heart that has received substantial healing and grace itself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>“On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In the classic Disney film, “Beauty and the Beast,” a prince turned beast locks a young girl, Belle, away in his enchanted castle. At first, she recoils and hides as evil expects, with evil growing all the while. But, with the gentle encouragement of the castle’s keepers, Belle begins to offer life to the Beast from the good of her heart.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">The Beast is caught off guard. His surprise causes him to fumble, so he works to regain his beastly composure. It isn’t easy at first and it doesn’t come naturally, but Belle must continue to boldly offer love to this most unsightly one. With each act of kindness, the beast’s composure begins to melt.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>In the end, Belle’s love is able to break the evil spell and the Beast is restored as the prince he was meant to be.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>I know. It's so tempting to chalk this up to simply fairy-tale. A fairy-tale we have falsely believed will never come true, all the while secretly hoping it will. That's because we misunderstand the gospel to which these fairy-tales are pointing. Yes, it will require tremendous courage and sacrifice...but it IS true and it can and does happen.</b><b> </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">This is the hope and possibility when we live by the wisdom of Paul in Romans 12:20-21<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Paul strikes a death blow against evil when he tells us to give evil life. It is like pouring life-giving water on the Wicked Witch of the West—she melts. Life and death do not mix. And when life, light, and love—in all its humble beauty, broken strength, frail boldness, and passionate other-centeredness—encounters evil, evil must flee or be transformed.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">(Dr. Dan Allender in <u>The Wounded Heart</u>, pp. 244-245)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">So the next time your tempted to run and hide in the shadow of evil-doers—or that family member, friend, or co-worker that has wronged you—try offering kindness instead. Your Heavenly Father will show you how as He encourages you. Evil cannot last in the light of bold love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">**Again, if you are dealing with an abuser or a past-abuser, do not go alone. Offering kindness in such a situation may look very different, and should never put you in a position to be alone with an abuser. Reconciliation is possible, but not always obtained, and not always safe. Each situation is different. We recommend counseling (which we offer through Rally Point Ministries, see Contact tab, as well as other trusted sources), and safe-guards until/if reconciliation is fully achieved.</span></div>
Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-59603727304309913642011-06-30T00:08:00.005-04:002013-03-20T00:34:29.612-04:00Bold Love (offering love in the most impossible places)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">Confrontation. Ugh. The very sound of the word causes the skin to crawl and the stomach to sink. Most of us would rather run and hide than confront someone who has hurt us. On the other hand, some people rather enjoy fighting back, but rarely with the goal of reconciliation. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/whos-vengeance-is-it-anyway.html">click here for the topic of vengeance</a>)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Before moving forward on the subject of “bold love” and some of what it entails, there must be a prerequisite here. Assuming that we have journeyed significant time through the processes of healing—<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/01/when-partial-isnt-good-enough.html">honestly facing our wounds while allowing Jesus to shine the searing light of His truth on each situation</a>; <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-will-set-you-free.html">refusing to believe and accept Satan’s lies and false messages through our wounds</a>; and finally, repenting by refusing to be dead, refusing to mistrust (not care about) others, and refusing to despise intimacy and passion.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">(The latter is from <u>The Wounded Heart</u> by Dr. Dan B. Allender, Chapter 12, and we will move toward this in later topics of healing.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Many of the processes of healing have been discussed on this blog site beginning in the December 2010 archive. Albeit a very condensed version of the process! If you cannot identify with the above, please consider it before attempting the bold love discussed next. Maturity comes through such a healing journey, and its timetable is different for each person, sometimes vastly so. “The common factor in the process is that it will lead to a <i>freedom to love</i>.” (<u>The Wounded Heart</u>, p. 240)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Hold on. Wait a minute.</i> Depending on the person and hurt you are working to forgive, you might be thinking, <i>no way on earth will I ever love ________!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In earlier sub-topics on forgiveness, I’ve admitted that some people and offenses are “easier” to forgive than others, depending on our relationship with the person and how deep the wound. But bold love includes forgiveness. It does not, in case you are wondering, remove righteous anger or say the hurt didn’t matter. Quite the opposite, in fact. Romans 12:9 tells us that “love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Bold love in the realm of forgiveness can be defined as, <i>“the free gift that voluntarily cancels the debt in order to free the debtor to become what he might be if he experiences the joy of restoration.”</i> Forgiveness can then be "defined as: (1) a hunger for restoration, (2) bold love, and (3) revoked revenge.” Love and forgiveness, like the healing journey, have no specific formula or exact process for each person and situation. (click here to read <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-size-does-not-fit-all.html">"One Size Does Not Fit All"</a>) The heart of the lover must be free to imaginatively ponder what it means to give grace to an offender. (<u>The Wounded Heart</u>, pp. 239 & 242)</span> </div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">One of those ways includes confrontation. Confrontation involves rebuke, and rebuke opens the door to repentance. “If your brother sins against you, rebuke him and if he repents, forgive him.” (Luke 17:3)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Jesus gives us specific instruction towards our brothers and sisters in the faith. (Keep in mind the timetables will vary greatly, with no exact steps or techniques for every circumstance.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And if he or she doesn’t listen…</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">“…take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won't listen, tell the church.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And if that doesn’t work…</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">“…you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">(<i>The Message</i>, Matthew 18:15-17)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Whoa. This is not something we see everyday. Nor is this permission to gossip or tattletale if the offender does not listen to us. Such an act must flow from a heart aiming for redemption in another, AND be preceded by MUCH prayer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">What if the offender is not a fellow believer? Because of the love of Christ and his entire mission to save that which was lost, set captives free, and restore us to our original glory (Isaiah 61:1-3), we still offer forgiveness and the possibility of redemption. If the person does not admit their wrong or move toward redemption, we are left to simply back away and try again (for redemption) another time. (forgiveness can still happen on our part regardless of the offender's response)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">To address every unique situation would be nothing short of impossible, and the full topic of forgiveness and bold love can only be contained not in one book, but several! Each of us must look at our own relationships and carefully walk with God through prayer, listening, and studying his Word (along with the wise counsel of others with experience) to find the best individual route. For me it took eight months of such before I could bring to light the past abuse of a pastor. Yet another relationship took only a month or two. Both preceded by a few years of deep healing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">If the person you are working to forgive is someone you live with, strongly consider the counsel of a wise friend, pastor, or biblically sound and godly counselor (unfortunately not all are the same!). There are so many layers to work through. I would also suggest the book <i>Captivating</i> by John and Stasi Eldredge (for women, or <i>Wild At Heart</i> by John Eldredge for men).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">With God’s grace at work within us, we can boldly go where few people do—loving by way of confronting, and with the goal of restoration for another human heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">**Note: If you are dealing with an abuser, or past abuser, do NOT confront such a person alone. As I mentioned before, it took 8 months of specific preparation for me to confront, preceded by a few years of deep healing--even then, my husband and I went with a trusted mediator with experience, and with much counseling and help from others trained in such a confrontation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">(We offer counseling through Rally Point Ministries, and when we see that more is needed than what we can offer, we have a few recommendations for counseling. You can <a href="http://sites.google.com/site/rallypointministries/contact-us">contact us</a> if you need help.)</span></div>
Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-5090017169318352832011-06-26T01:52:00.000-04:002011-06-26T01:52:26.452-04:001st Five in the Forgiveness "sub-series"<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Click below to read any one (or all!) of the writings on forgiveness, a sub-series in the original series on Healing. </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">It is notable that the very topic of forgiveness is a touchy subject for some. Like many other issues, there are times it has been mishandled, misunderstood, and lorded over the hurting without compassion or understanding. As a result, </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">in our quest for healing and freedom, we’d sometimes like to avoid the forgiveness issue. But if we are to be truly free, we must come to understand and embrace the act of forgiving.</span><br />
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<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-what-you-think.html">It's Not What You May Think</a><br />
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<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/courage-and-will.html">Courage and Will</a><br />
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<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/whos-vengeance-is-it-anyway.html">Who's Vengeance is it Anyway?</a><br />
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<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/layer-by-layer.html">Layer by Layer</a><br />
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<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/06/are-we-putting-on-or-are-we-peeling-off.html">Are We Putting On or Are We Peeling Off?</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">The next writing in this sub-series will be published this week!</span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-63979881590068397642011-06-15T18:04:00.004-04:002011-07-18T00:52:41.663-04:00Are We Putting On or Are We Peeling Off?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Uq8Lqqe_vvo/TfkrSiW5V_I/AAAAAAAAAHc/sXVPLVbRJ60/s1600/peeling-an-onion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Uq8Lqqe_vvo/TfkrSiW5V_I/AAAAAAAAAHc/sXVPLVbRJ60/s1600/peeling-an-onion.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the last post we considered the onion and how it relates to forgiveness. The onion reminds us that forgiving can be intense, and is rarely a one-time final event, even over a single issue. <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/layer-by-layer.html">Layer by layer we heal, and layer by layer we forgive.</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">We learned that when we are hit again with hurt, sadness, or anger over a forgiven issue, it is primarily an indication that deeper healing is needed from Jesus himself. With it comes yet another opportunity to forgive. It is at that point we have a choice: to allow another layer to be peeled off, or to put back on another layer.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Several key verses (Matt. 6:12, 14; 18:21, 35) use the word “forgive.” The Greek word is <i>aphiemi</i>, which means “to send away.” Furthermore in these verses it means “to let go, give up a debt, by not demanding it.” The prefix, <i>apo</i>, is described as “any kind of separation of one thing from another by which the union or fellowship of the two is destroyed.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our analogy of the onion fits in perfectly here: by forgiving we give up the debt the wrongful person owes us and choose to no longer demand it from them. Instead, turning to Jesus to heal and restore us. <i>“I </i>[the Lord]<i> will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…”</i> Joel 2:25. In doing so we peel off, separate if you will, another layer, destroying the union between us and the wrongdoer.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">But what happens if we don’t choose forgiveness?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">A root of bitterness is conceived.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">And if that root is left unattended?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit; margin-left: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Hebrews 12:15)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Allowing bitterness to take root undoes the work of the Lord, and therefore puts layers back on, weighting us down once again. When bitterness gives birth, Webster’s dictionary describes it as sharp, unpleasant, disagreeable, and harsh.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was once all of those things! And boy did it cause trouble!! Not everyone knew, as it was mostly in my home, in key relationships, and in my very own heart. Being weighted down with many layers of unforgiveness and bitterness is misery.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">If this is you, I urge you to take courage, invite Jesus back in to heal and to help you peel off those weighty and undesirable layers.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“A real step of courage and will. We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. </i><i>4:31</i><i>; Heb. </i><i>12:15</i><i>). We have to let it all go.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>’Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’” (Col. 3:13)</i></span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">(Captivating, pp. 103-104)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In lieu of some of the comments below, click to read, Forgiveness: <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-what-you-think.html">It's Not What You May Think</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/courage-and-will.html">Courage and Will</a> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/whos-vengeance-is-it-anyway.html">Who's Vengeance is it Anyway?</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/layer-by-layer.html">Layer by Layer</a> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/06/bold-love-offering-love-in-most.html">Bold Love: Offering Love in the Most Impossible Places</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/07/evil-expects-us-to-recoil-in-fear-and.html">Kill 'em With...Kindness?</a></span></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-7897550304705002852011-05-28T00:36:00.000-04:002011-05-28T00:36:46.336-04:00Layer by Layer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QtaiyFS1eoc/TeB5EmY8RCI/AAAAAAAAAHU/O3CjJ_Z4x8w/s1600/Onions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QtaiyFS1eoc/TeB5EmY8RCI/AAAAAAAAAHU/O3CjJ_Z4x8w/s200/Onions.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Onions. They look so innocent in their thin paper-like outer covering. If you’ve ever removed the outer skin and cut through one, you are not at all surprised by what happens next. Uncontrollably, you feel the burn. Your eyes begin to water. The deeper you cut into its layers, the more intense the burn until you are crying big tears!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GPpCIg68mvY/TeB5Z0F1HPI/AAAAAAAAAHY/6ClSnlLnfXQ/s1600/RedOnions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GPpCIg68mvY/TeB5Z0F1HPI/AAAAAAAAAHY/6ClSnlLnfXQ/s200/RedOnions.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Many people, however, are surprised—confused even—by the intense mental and emotional process of forgiving. We tend to expect, and sometimes actually receive immediate peace when we<span style="color: red;"> </span>make the first step in choosing to forgive someone. Another false expectation is that of instant “finality” to the situation.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Surprise and confusion set in when later that day, or upon waking the next morning, we are hit again with hurt, sadness, or anger. The liar takes his queue to speak, “You didn’t really forgive. You’ve taken it all back. You must start all over again.”</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">In that moment, we misunderstand our continued need for healing from Jesus in these now raw places where we have chosen the most courageous act of forgiving. Remember, a person’s sin against us is the taking of something that cannot be returned by the offender. Only Jesus can return our security, trust, innocence, or joy. (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-what-you-think.html">click here to read "It's Not What You May Think"</a>)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">We grieve what was lost and stolen by another another's wrong action. Grief is painful and intense. The deeper we walk into our wounded heart, the more intense it gets.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Inviting Jesus to go with us and heal our broken hearts will inevitably bring us to the choice to forgive. By forgiving, we choose to turn from the person who wronged us to the One who can heal and restore us. When we do, He is then able to do His work and “close up” that layer.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">But then He takes us deeper, and another layer of our wound is revealed. There, more healing must take place. <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-will-set-you-free.html">More truth must replace the lies we’ve believed</a>. More needs to be restored. And another opportunity to forgive presents itself.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Matthew 18:21-22, <i>The Message</i>)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">This conversation between Peter and Jesus is usually understood to explain how many times we forgive someone based on how many times they continue to hurt us. I also believe it can apply to how many times we forgive a single hurt as we continue to sift through our grief and loss.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The next time you are surprised by your emotions and thoughts <i>after</i> choosing to forgive, remember the onion. Forgiveness over even a single issue is rarely a one-time, final event. Layer by layer we heal, and layer by layer we forgive.</span></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-65957757190476109562011-05-17T01:18:00.002-04:002011-05-18T12:52:10.976-04:00Who's Vengeance is it Anyway?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iYJVL_PNnrs/TdICUIP44ZI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/cKbloexadb0/s1600/journal+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iYJVL_PNnrs/TdICUIP44ZI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/cKbloexadb0/s320/journal+pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Why is it that some people are easier to forgive than others?</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our relationship with an individual and the amount of damage from their offense(s) has bearing on the ease or difficulty. This is different for each of us.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">For example, in my life I could forgive my parents easily for any wrong toward me as a child. First, because I longed to please them and did not want to be a disappointment to them. Secondly, because I loved them deeply and desired a healthy relationship with them as an adult. (not to mention the awareness of my own imperfections as a parent!) On the contrary, a woman I know struggles deeply to forgive her parents because of the severe abuse and neglect she suffered at their hands.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">The abusing pastor from my teen years was the most difficult for me. In part because of the process I went through emotionally in the years following his abuse—the explanation of which belongs in another subject in another post. But, mostly, the reason was due to the amount and depth of damage done to my own life and the life of my family.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;">Often, an insatiable appetite for vengeance grows where we are unwilling (and even unable) to forgive.</span><br />
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</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Weeks after taking the first step of choosing to forgive my greatest offender (<a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/05/courage-and-will.html">before I felt like it</a>), I penned these words in my journal after some serious time in prayer with God:</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">“[God] <i>helped bring the depths of my heart to the surface. Part of me wanted him to see what he’s done, be held accountable, and see all the damage he’s caused in my life. I also got to thinking, I have suffered so much—me, my marriage/husband, my kids—I’d like to see him suffer. </i>[Then]<i> God’s still voice said to me, “He already is suffering. He has been suffering </i><u>because of his sin</u><i>—whether he realizes it or not, <u>he already is suffering</u>.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">In case you missed it, dear friend, hear it again. Those who hurt you, those you long to hurt in return, already are suffering because of their sin. (unless they have come to repentance and turned completely from their sinful ways, Act 3:19; though even then they may still suffer consequences)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“But your sins will eat away at you from within and you’ll groan among yourselves.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Ezekiel 24:23b, The Message)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on rebellion and they wasted away in their sin.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Psalm 106:43, NIV)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(James 1:15, Amplified)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Those who remain unrepentant and deny their sin against you <i>are already </i>suffering.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,’ says the Lord.”</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Romans 12:19, NASB)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Enough said. That arena belongs to God. And we need not get in his way or take matters into our own hands—as hard as that may be sometimes (and lest we sin ourselves in doing so!).</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For those whom we find it more difficult to forgive, we must call upon the help of the Lord, who promises that vengeance is his and that he will repay their sins.</span></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-38415235635080039322011-05-13T17:35:00.003-04:002011-05-14T11:28:36.711-04:00Courage and Will<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MVqgOxcp5rQ/Tc2eRT69V6I/AAAAAAAAAHI/chAIP0DSB4c/s1600/climbing+mountain2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MVqgOxcp5rQ/Tc2eRT69V6I/AAAAAAAAAHI/chAIP0DSB4c/s320/climbing+mountain2.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_cnua5JnCoU/Tc2eVfWCgiI/AAAAAAAAAHM/D8Ra6F0uo9w/s1600/climbing+mountain1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_cnua5JnCoU/Tc2eVfWCgiI/AAAAAAAAAHM/D8Ra6F0uo9w/s1600/climbing+mountain1.jpeg" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">The hard step of forgiveness:</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“A real step of courage and will. We must forgive those who hurt us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that hold us captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. </i><i>4:31</i><i>; Heb. </i><i>12:15</i><i>). We have to let it all go.</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>’Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’” (Col. 3:13)</i></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: small;">(Captivating, pp. 103-104)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know what some of you are thinking…”There’s just no way I can forgive.” “Easier said than done.” “It’s easy for God to forgive.” “I don’t feel like forgiving yet.”</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some of us are waiting to <i>feel</i> something first, as though forgiveness means we should have some ushy-gushy feeling of releasing the person. That’s how I thought when I faced the decision of forgiving my greatest offender.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Undergoing prayer counseling several years ago, walking through every relationship of my past and dealing with the spiritual issues surrounding each one, we came upon forgiveness. Sharing the thoughts above, among many others, I sat waiting in silence, trying to <i>feel</i> forgiveness and release. That is when the prayer counselor said, “It’s not about a feeling. Forgiving is an act of the will. Feelings come later.”</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">With her words there was a sense of relief. I had a choice to make, an act of the will. Step one, you could say. If I waited for feelings to come first, they would never come! But if I wanted my heart to follow, I had to choose to forgive.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Forgiving is not saying the wound didn’t matter, rather, the opposite. It is saying it did matter, and it hurt me deeply. What you did was wrong, and I release you to God. I will not be your captive any more. (Captivating)</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">It took a while for my heart to catch up, but I found it to be true that as long as I was unforgiving, I was bound to my offenders and to the <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-will-set-you-free.html">messages of their wounds</a>. Not only does the act of forgiving release the person to God, but it also releases our own heart!</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Bitterness and anger no longer controlled me. It stopped spewing itself upon my family. Greater depths of healing were freeing my heart daily through the courageous act of forgiving. And I was no longer a prisoner to my offenders.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Who are you struggling to forgive? Will you take the first step today? Ask Jesus to give you the courage.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">There is much more to explore and sift through here, and we will. But today, choose to trust God with all your fears and questions as you take step one: choose to forgive. <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-what-you-think.html">(It's not what you may think...)</a></span></div>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-50619061414728262142011-05-01T02:28:00.004-04:002011-05-01T09:55:28.106-04:00<div style="color: #073763;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_RtG4vAn9UU/Tb0A6A0QXnI/AAAAAAAAAGk/yMbwfoXtD-E/s1600/blog+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_RtG4vAn9UU/Tb0A6A0QXnI/AAAAAAAAAGk/yMbwfoXtD-E/s320/blog+pic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Dear Sisters (and Brothers)</span></div><br />
We had a massive interruption to life this week--death is like that. It doesn't ask your permission, or wait for a "convenient" time. It sneaks up on you like a thief. With no warning. That's what we experienced this week when my sister lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly.<br />
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We are no stranger to such tragic losses. Yet, because we've seen and felt the mighty hand of God hold us up, heal us, and restore us, walk with us and talk with us in past tragedies...we again hope against all hope, as we are told in Romans 4:18.<br />
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The passage here is speaking of Abraham, when his and Sarah's bodies were as good as dead. Yet, God had promised them a baby! In their old age! It was ludicrous. It was crazy. It required a hope against all hope, a belief that did not waiver (v. 20). It was an "impossible" time. <br />
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Those things which shake us up in life, those things which leave us wondering what in the world we will do and what in the world/how in the world will even God accomplish anything here--those impossible places call upon us to hope against all hope, believing God like never before. We become desperate.<br />
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Desperate for Him to speak.<br />
Desperate for Him to move.<br />
Desperate for Him to act.<br />
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What has interrupted your life? What is your impossible? For what are you desperate right now?<br />
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In hope against all hope believe that God will do for you as He has promised. Get in His Word, the timeless words of God in the Bible, and learn what His promises are. Hope, pray, and believe they will be true for you.<br />
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I will return to our topic of forgiveness very soon, as I am still staying close by my sister's side right now. You can read the first part of this topic <a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/04/its-not-what-you-think.html">here</a>. It is a continuation of the heart-healing series which began in the December archive.Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-75866006289580541992011-04-21T12:55:00.003-04:002012-07-09T14:31:04.117-04:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.marydemuth.com/2011/04/melissa-pickens-thin-place-slave-no-more/">Melissa Pickens' Thin Place: Slave No More ~ Mary DeMuth</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZiKgb1Gb1xM/TopGFC0Om9I/AAAAAAAAAJE/-4apY7ct1WY/s1600/Captivating+Advanced+2011+043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZiKgb1Gb1xM/TopGFC0Om9I/AAAAAAAAAJE/-4apY7ct1WY/s320/Captivating+Advanced+2011+043.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Today my story appears on author Mary DeMuth's website as I share details of my rescue from "slavery." Come meet the Hero of my story and find Him the Hero of your own! (click on the title above to view</i><i style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">)</i></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5086200971361892093.post-68006893904386413942011-04-19T05:16:00.005-04:002011-07-18T00:46:02.667-04:00It's Not What You May Think<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7uqPoczQKq4/Ta1SchqL3aI/AAAAAAAAAGY/g2b_NSLkOGg/s1600/forgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7uqPoczQKq4/Ta1SchqL3aI/AAAAAAAAAGY/g2b_NSLkOGg/s1600/forgiving.jpg" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I wish I could say that forgiveness has always come easy for me, or that it always comes easy even now. But that is not so. Granted, it comes more “naturally” in some areas than in others, and as I learn and grow and mature, it certainly gets easier (in all areas).</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">It is notable that the very topic of forgiveness is a touchy subject for some. Like many other issues, there are times it has been mishandled, misunderstood, and lorded over the hurting without compassion or understanding. As a result, in our quest for healing and freedom, we’d sometimes like to avoid the forgiveness issue.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">But if we are to be truly free, we must come to understand and embrace the act of forgiving.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Don’t stop reading please!</b> For those who followed the beginnings of my blog posts on healing and restoration, you know we’ve been dealing with very real and deep wounds (at the bottom of this post you will find the links to all posts pertaining to the subject). Some of us may feel that to forgive is to relieve the offending person of any responsibility and somehow sweep their offense under the rug. That is not the aim here.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the aforementioned posts on healing and restoration, it has been explained that when we are wounded (both other and self-inflicted), something is lost, stolen, or given up. Innocence. Joy. Security. Trust. Just to name a few.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Realizing our loss, we often hold the person who wrongfully took what was ours responsible for giving it back. The problem is they cannot. The reason is we are not talking about material possessions, but rather, the sacred. These are things only Jesus can give back to us.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>“I </i>[the Lord]<i> will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…”</i> Joel 2:25</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">How many years have we spent demanding the “locusts” in our lives give back what they’ve eaten?</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">A person’s sin against us is the taking of something that cannot be returned by the offender. Lord knows I’ve wanted to grab hold of some of my offenders and shake the living hound out of them, demanding they give back what they’ve taken! But forgiving is to release them—and to no longer demand from them the debt they owe. It is recognizing they cannot return what has been stolen, and turning to the only One who can.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Understanding this makes forgiving easier for me.</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the next few posts, I will share openly from some of my personal journals as we explore the ins and outs of forgiveness—the next vital step of healing.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/12/from-slavery-to.html">From Slavery to Freedom (this has been reworked and rewritten!)</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-band-aids-wont-heal.html">What Band-Aids Won't Heal</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2010/12/proven-offer.html">The Proven Offer</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/01/when-partial-isnt-good-enough.html">When "Partial" Isn't Good Enough</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-size-does-not-fit-all.html">One Size Does Not Fit All</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/one-who-knows-steps-holds-key-to-our.html">The One Who Knows the Steps Holds the Key to our Heart</a></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><a href="http://breathedeeply1.blogspot.com/2011/02/truth-will-set-you-free.html">The Truth Will Set You Free</a></div></span></span>Melissa G. Pickenshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16590645561139853759noreply@blogger.com1